"YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS YOUNG"

As I look out the window on this wet winter’s day, my thoughts turn to a song written in 1964 by one of my favorite singers/composers, Charles Aznavour.   It laments the time we wasted in our younger years that we can never reclaim and how we will look back on our wasted youth with sadness.

 

  The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned

I always built, alas, on weak and shifting sand.

As 2015 lingers for just a few more days, there are many of us who feel that there is so much more to do, more promises to be kept and much more to accomplish before the year fades away making room for the start of yet another.  Regardless of whether we believe that our glass is half full or half empty, the fact remains that the glass is still only filled half way.  We agonize over the one bad grade our child got on an essay that we helped them with.  We could have helped a friend get past a bad situation more easily if we had shown more compassion.  We should have been able to erase a loved one’s pain.  

Like the rest of us, I have my regrets for the year.  I didn’t get nearly as far with some writing projects as I had hoped to.  Some home repairs and painting stalled out although I can still partially blame the cruddy weather we’ve had most of the year.  I counted on December to be my catch up and do it all month, to fill that glass to the top before the year’s end!

Unfortunately, my year end to do list didn’t include standing on a grassy embankment covered over with frost late at night, sliding and falling and breaking my leg.  It was one of life’s little surprises, I suppose.  As I sat there on the cold ground calling 911 with Shelby by my side I realized that my glass might end up a few drops short of my goal.

 

Luckily, I suffered two clean breaks which should heal without any difficulty except for my not being able to put any weight on that leg for a mandatory amount of time.  Unluckily, I live in a split level house that requires me to walk down two series of stairs to either get into my office or to get out of my house.  So, I can’t go to work and I can’t go out and about on my own.  I stare down at those steps many times each day knowing that I could make it down and back up without anyone being the wiser but, I promised some people that love me that I would stay put unless they were there to spot me.  So far I’ve kept that promise.

   

Life has slowed down for me since the fall.  It takes me longer to get ready in the morning and to get from point A to point B while still remembering why I wanted to go to point B. I’ve found creative ways to pick up items from the floor and to cook without setting myself on fire.  My patience hasn’t improved at all but I don’t think anything can change that.  With help from family and friends, I know I will get through this temporary setback and that my life will go back to semi-normalcy.  

Aznavour’s song ends with these words.

…The time has come for me to pay for yesterday

When I was young.

I’m sure we will all pay for our yesterdays but I would rather concentrate on my tomorrows.  2015 is coming to a close and a brand new year is fast approaching.  What we have or haven’t done is in our past, and 2016 is a clean slate. I will try to fill the entire year with projects and adventure. Before I’m ready to pay for my yesterdays I want to add a lot more of them to the list.  Remember yesterday but don’t think you’re too old for your tomorrows.

Sharon